::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday



"Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light." Curious much? This week Andi has her geek glasses on and is ready to hold class. So grab your book bag and head to the blue door at the back of the shack, knock the sultry tune "Teach Me Tonight" as sung by the late Etta James and the password is "Here". Be Safe!



"So, I don't understand... What do lemons have to do with fan fiction?" Emmett stared at me from across the room with a confused look on his face. He looked so funny; I just couldn't help not to laugh.

After placing my lunch plate in the sink, I walked toward him, "It's just a term used to say that the story contains sexual content." I looked down at the screen he was looking at, "What are you reading?"

"But why lemons? Why not strawberries or chocolate or," and thought suddenly flashed across his face, giving him the biggest grin. He stood, crossing paths with a rare beam of sunlight which bounced off his face and shattered into a million little reflections all over the lab. "Sparkles!" he exclaimed. And I laughed again.

"It's because sparkling vampires didn't exist in 1984 when a sexually explicit amine story called 'Cream Lemon' was written." I tilted the tablet in my direction so I could see the screen better and then let it go. "Over the years it's been shortened to lemons and describes most sexual content."

Defensively, he followed after me, "I'm over 90 years old and I remember 1984 quite clearly!"

"But no one knew you existed, although I'm certain, if they had, sexual content would definitely have been called sparkles." I laughed again at the thought.

"You know, I'd wager a bet that there are quite a few of our fans who are unfamiliar with these crazy fan fiction terms."


Emmett leaned over my desk, "How much?"

"How much what?" now it was my turn to look confused.

"How much would you bet that the shack fans are unfamiliar with the fan fiction terms?" The gleam in his eye was getting a little scary.

Oh, I really need to watch how I say things around him. "I'm not betting you, Emmett! And I'm sure that a lot of them know, most are self-explanatory, but I think it would be good to define the ones we all run into the most often."

"Awww, come on! Not even a dollar?" Emmett begged.

"No! Now if you're not going to help, please find something else to do."

"Fine, I'll help." and with that he pulled out one of the laptops and began to type faster than I could.


So, I could define over 1,000 terms used for fan fiction, but instead all the fics I'm dealing today will be an example of the term I'm defining. Here goes...

The term "Alternate Universe" (AU) is one of the most common I've seen in describing fan fics, especially Twilight fan fiction. These are stories that contain plots, settings, or character attributes that are radically different from the original story. Of course, to be very honest, I can't say I read a ton of fan fiction from other fandoms, but in the Twilight universe, the characters have been written into a broad spectrum of situations, one of the most common being All-Human (AH).


One all human tale that has to be one of my very favorites is called “Living Backwards” by ciaobella27. Bella is coerced into signing up for a Facebook account by Alice. She wasn’t very social in high school and didn’t become friends with Alice and Rosalie until they met at NYU despite the fact that they all went to high school together. So to be suddenly thrown into the world of social networking, with people she didn’t even know back then is pure torture, until Edward Cullen accepts her friend request. He was barely a blip on her radar in high school, but seeing his profile picture has given her a slight case of cyberstalker disease and now she’s curious about all the “What if’s”. Wouldn’t you be?

Next up on the board is the term "Canon" which can refer to any elements that have been established by the original story. In the Twilight universe, this commonly describes character pairing, but can also indicate that this tale is an extension of the saga or a missing moment.


This is a single chapter (one-shot) canon piece that makes me giggle every time I read it called “Once Bitten” by NoMoreThanUsual. It’s a conversation where Bella and Edward imagine how things would have been different on their first day in Biology if Bella were the vampire and Edward the human. After the conversation I had with Emmett, do you think that this really happened or is it only fiction. Read it and let me know.

I think most of you understand this fan fic term, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to pimp something a little darker than usual. "Dark" fics refer to stories in which either the content or the characters themselves are written "darker" than their canon counterparts, although not necessarily outside the bounds of canon characterization. Can range from morally ambiguous to outright evil, possibly even psychopathic/sociopathic.


An excellent example of this a fic called "Lions Eat Lambs" by Raggdoll of Twilight. Bella and her friends think they are up for a few days of fun camping in the wonderful wilderness, but find they are completely unprepared for what really lurks in the forest. Bella wakes on her second day to find that all her friends are gone. Figuring they are only playing a joke, she sets out to find them, stumbling upon the manor of Edward Cullen. Little does she realize exactly what she's walking into when she steps into his house, and into a very dangerous game to ultimately rid him of his boredom. Not all monsters are make-believe and this story will keep you wide awake.

Now this next term is slightly flexible, but traditionally "Drabble" refers to stories of exactly 100 words in length. However, it's also widely used to describe fun, fluffy stories that are less than a 1,000 words in length.


One of the best examples of drabble I've seen lately is titled, "Family Holiday" by Signature.Hot.Chocolate. This laugh-out-loud bit of fluff will have you rolling as you learn about Bella's concerns about her daughter joining in on a Halloween tradition.

Next is a term I'm sure none of you are a stranger to "Smut" or "Porn" which generally describes stories or scenes of graphic sex, in which any plot or character development that also occurs is incidental to the sex itself. This term is used differently from "lemons" in that a tale can be "lemony", but be about more than just the sex.

If, I'm looking for smut this tale called "Exchange" by BoydBlog brings it full on. Bella has a Third Date Rule. Would it delude her into continuing with the not so perfect date? Sometimes fate intervenes to correct an imbalance. Not even the location can deter frenzied would-be soul mates.

And lastly, we have "Lemon" which, as I explained to Emmett earlier, simply refers to the presence of graphic or explicit sexual content. This can be either heterosexual or homosexual in nature and originated in the anime fandoms.


A very lemony tale I've found recently was titled "Fridays at Noon" by troublefollows1017. Edward Masen's life intersects with Bella's at the restaurant he dines at for lunch every Friday. He's handsome, arrogant, and is used to avoiding love. She isn't impressed by the things that usually have women falling at his feet. Will she be the one that breaks through and helps him find love?

So, to go along with all these little fic terms, I think we need an HEA (Happily Ever After)

1 oz. Peach Schnapps
1 oz. Cranberry Juice
1 oz. Ginger Ale

Mixing directions
Mix and serve on the rocks.


Until next time, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)